A few years ago, I thought I was going to quit youth ministry. I struggled with the thought of getting into my forties. I also thought about whether I was still relevant. I was worn down by the effects that the pandemic had on our world as a whole and how it seemed like everything we had built up evaporated that quickly. We were having amazing intergenerational fellowships. We had started peaking in our in-person youth church, which we started one Sunday a month. We had started a virtual youth church, and it started strong but it just didn’t sustain. Just about all of our young adult volunteers started making either life and or career changes, which was a good thing, but also realized that there was a void when it came to youth workers once we reopened back up. I remember one day I shared with my Pastor that I think I got one more good year in me, and that’s it. He said he respected my decision and would continue to discern and pray with me on what I needed to take the next steps in my journey.
Almost two years have passed, and just recently this year, I apologized to my Pastor. After contemplation, I told him that I was just tired and that I couldn’t find any solutions to move forward. I also had so many personal things happening in my life that were contributing to my stress and emotions. My Pastor told me that he didn’t even remember the conversation, but he totally understood.
I share all of this because it’s not that he forgot about the convo, but it’s the power of the relationship between a Pastor and a Youth Pastor. When I took on this assignment almost seven years ago at what is considered the Cathedral of African Methodism in the AME Church, I didn’t realize how much I was going to be empowered to do the work that God has called me to do. From day one, I was given permission to be the creative innovator, and I built my reputation at much smaller churches with much fewer resources. Pastor William H Lamar, IV, gave the gift of open communication, dialogue, and shared ownership of how we should move the youth ministry further along in our church.
I remember being passionate about youth earlier on in my growing years of ministry as a young minister. I remember being emotional, passionate, and sometimes out of line, having to fight for the things that were needed in youth ministry. As I have got older, and feverishly worked in this role, I have learned a few lessons along the way. The first one is making sure your vision aligns with your leader. In my interview, my Pastor shared with me what you have to offer that we need at this church, At first, I was intimidated because I was non-degreed coming to a church full of credentialled and degreed preachers. Although initially I hesitated to take the position, it made it easy from that final interview that our missions were aligned. We communicate often about where I see God leading and shifting, and he listens to me as if I am the one who has a soon-to-be doctor in front of his name. Secondly, I learned that we must learn how to get buy-in from leaders in our church. Often, we take roles and assignments, and then we want to come in and change the whole system without understanding that you can’t do that until you learn the culture. Sometimes we may have great ideas, but they don’t fit the culture. One of the things that Pastor Lamar and I both agreed on was that for the first six months to a year, I would focus more on relationship building. Hear what the parents need, get to know how the leaders operate, and hear what the students are concerned about. Years later I feel like I have so many beautiful relationships with leaders because I came in willing to serve them first before I was looking for what they could do for me. Over seven years later, after almost walking away, I feel a renewed fire of wanting to do youth ministry for another 20 years if God allows. It’s because I followed a closely aligned mission.
Thomas Brackeen is a servant leader who has over 28 years of experience working with youth and young adults in the DC area through PG Parks and Recreation, coaching in various basketball leagues, and serving at different churches in the DC Metro area. He is also the founder of Keep It Real Fridays, a platform that was designed as a safe space for youth and young adults to express their authentic voice through the creative arts and receive spiritual encouragement. His mission is to empower young people and the leaders who serve them to make an impact in this world.
He is affectionately known to some of his peers as the “Youth Pastors’ Pastor as he has dedicated a portion of his life to mentoring, coaching, and systems thinking for youth and young adult ministry. He fulfills these roles various national youth ministry organizations and through his newly started business TBJ Enterprises, LLC.
Professionally he works in his current role as a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Lead at The Nature Conservancy, where he has worked for the past ten years. He works in Philanthropy Leadership and across the organization to develop systems thinking and change management strategies. These strategies are focused on hiring & recruiting policies, engaging a diverse nontraditional donor base, discrimination & harassment prevention, and enhancing inclusivity within work culture.